What If Your Relationship Patterns Could Finally Make Sense?
The fights that won’t end. The love that feels distant. It’s not you—it’s a hidden pattern. Discover what it is and how to shift it for good.
Your Pattern Has a Place.
And It’s Shiftable.
The Relationship Grid is the cornerstone of Terry Real’s relational work. It helps you identify the exact stance you take when things get hard in your relationship—whether you shut down, lash out, over-give, or take too much control.It also shows you where your partner tends to go. And why, the same fight keeps happening… even if the topic changes.
When under stress, we all fall into a predictable quadrant:
- Some people go silent or disappear to protect themselves
- Others step into control or anger to feel safe
- Some cling harder and try to win back love at any cost
- Others build walls or withhold warmth to avoid vulnerability
These aren’t character flaws. They’re just patterned reactions—learned in childhood, triggered in adulthood.
This quiz shows you your quadrant—and how to return to health at the center.
“I felt so seen. I sent this quiz to my husband, and it opened a completely new kind of conversation.”
~ Natalie Cox
This Quiz Is for You If…
- You’ve been in a long-term relationship that feels stuck
- You want love, but not the same fight again
- You know there’s something deeper going on—but you can’t name it
- You’ve tried books, podcasts, or even therapy… but nothing really shifted
- You’re open to truth—and ready for transformation
Meet the Therapist Who’s Helped 100,000+ Couples
Terry Real is a bestselling author and the founder of Relational Life Therapy (RLT). For over 30 years, he’s helped individuals and couples break free from toxic patterns and build deeply connected, fiercely loving relationships.
At the heart of Terry’s method is a profound truth: most of us are still living out survival strategies we learned as children that now sabotage our closeness and ability to meaningfully repair.
Terry offers both a map and a sophisticated toolkit to move beyond these losing strategies and practice the powerful relational skills needed to make love work. Only then can people live a truly relational life in deep connection – to themselves, each other, and the planet as a whole.
A former senior faculty member of the Family Institute of Cambridge in Massachusetts, Terry is the author of four books, including the recent New York Times bestseller Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.
His original insights on couples therapy, relationships, and men’s issues have been featured in outlets from Oprah and Vogue to Psychotherapy Networker and CNN.
Trusted By Experts, Celebrities, and Institutions Around the World
Terry’s tools have changed the lives of thousands—and earned trust across the most respected stages and platforms in the world.
What You’ll Learn From the Quiz
- The unconscious quadrant you fall into during conflict
- Why you keep repeating the same fights (even with different partners)
- The “aha” moment that explains years of confusion, heartbreak, or pain
- A clear first step to shift your pattern into something healthier—immediately
This isn’t just a quiz. It’s a mirror—and a map forward.
